The Best at Being Broken
by snappleapple518
Summary: Sam has an interesting runin with Rachel Slocum in the bathroom of all places. R&R Please!


_Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom Stallion… it's too bad, cause that would be a lot of fun and money, ha-ha. And I also do not own the song "I'm Not Alright" by Sanctus Real._

**The Best at Being Broken:**

Rachel leaned over the table and threw her head back and laughed until she couldn't laugh anymore. And yet… she didn't feel like laughing. Actually, she felt like crying. Day in and day out, that was her wish. To be able to sit around and just cry for a while with someone she loved, and someone who loved her. Was that too much to ask? But yes, with her father and her brother and mother… crying just wasn't acceptable. Ryan might be okay with it but seriously… she didn't want his pity. And who wanted to see their twin bawling their eyes out? She certainly didn't. She needed to impress people. Crying didn't impress people.

_if weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of_

_then cool is just how far we have to fall_

_I am not immune-i only wanna be loved_

_but I feel safe behind the firewall_

_can I lose my need to impress?_

Rachel snuck from the cafeteria as quietly as possible and headed towards the bathroom where she began to cry as hard as ever. She couldn't really say what was wrong. She just didn't want to feel like this anymore. She didn't want to feel broken like this. She wanted to act how she was and no way else… but was that really possible now? She doubted it.

_i'm not alright- i'm broken inside, broken inside_

_and all I go thru-it leads me to you, it leads me to you_

_burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness_

_'til everything I hide behind is gone_

She'd been in the stall for close to fifteen minutes now. She was late to class. And she didn't care… what freedom that was! She didn't care! But then again… no one had ever cared about her, had they? Not the real her… many people cared about the fake her. But the real her… the good, and nice her… no way. There was no room for that girl.

And suddenly she heard a knocking on the stall.

"Hey, is somebody in there?" called a voice that Rachel recognized instantly as Sam Forster. Sam Forster was a good for nothing, plain old good person. She had heart and soul that Rachel could never wish for. Rachel slowly unlocked the door and stepped out of the stall. She knew she looked horrid. But once again she didn't care- ah! That freedom.

Sam's eyes didn't widen, but Rachel could tell from the way that her mouth twitched slightly to the left that she was confused. Who wouldn't be? It-girl Rachel Slocum in the stall crying her eyes out? Not true! And yet it was…

_burn away the pride, bring me to my weakness_

_'til everything I hide behind is gone_

_and when i'm open wide with nothing left to cling to_

_only you are there to lead me on_

_'cuz honestly, i'm not that strong_

Sam felt her mouth sealing up even as she started to talk.

"Rachel?" she asked. And that was all that she could get out. Nothing more, nothing less. Just her name. She wasn't sure what to say. What was going on? Was something wrong?

"Is something wrong?" she asked, starting to compose herself finally. Rachel shook her head and sat down in a chair. Sam sat down next to her.

"Do you want me to get the nurse?" Sam asked. She figured if something was wrong then the nurse could probably help. In Sam's opinion the nurse could _always _help. Apparently Rachel didn't feel the same.

"No. Don't get the nurse, Sam. Won't you just talk to me for a minute?" Rachel asked, clearly lacking self-esteem. Rachel Slocum _asking politely _to talk to Sam Forster- cowgirl extraordinaire? No, it couldn't be true! And yet… and yet it was.

"Sure," said Sam, sounding unsure of herself, "What do you want to talk about, Rachel?" she asked, trying to sound polite, but fearing that she would coming off completely weird.

"I'm a wreck," Rachel said, looking up at Sam. Yes, she did look like a wreck.

"No, you are not." Sam protested, though she had always thought that Rachel Slocum might very well be a wreck. Or at _least _a beautiful disaster. But she tried to push those thoughts from her head. Now wasn't the time to be insulting her.

"Yes. I am. I am a wreck." Rachel said, sounding very certain about this. Sam wasn't sure what she was talking about, but she'd try to be supportive.

"I'm not alright, Sam. I'm not alright. Everyone thinks I'm alright. Even great. But I'm not even alright." Rachel told her.

_I don't think she's great _Sam thought sarcastically _or alright. She may not even be right mentally! It's certainly starting to look that way._

"I'm broken, Sam. Have you ever been truly broken?" she asked. Sam thought about this.

"No," she decided, "No, I guess I never have been truly broken. I guess it depends on your definition-" she began to say, but Rachel cut her off.

"You, see. You do not know what it feels like to be broken. You don't know what it feels like to not know who you are. I'm the only one who feels that way. I am the only one who feels broken. I might even say that I'm the best at being broken." And with that, Rachel wiped her eyes one last time with the tissue, and walked out of the bathroom, her espadrilles clicking.

A small smile crept onto Sam's face.

_She even has to be the best at being broken._

Sam walked out of the bathroom with a silly grin on her face. As she walked out she was met by Jake Ely who was standing by the bathroom. She didn't know what he was doing out there, but she didn't care.

"What's wrong with you?" he asked, noticing her silly grin.

"What?" she asked.

"That smile… what's wrong?" he asked again, looking at her as if she was crazy.

"Oh, so I'm smiling… that means something's wrong?" she asked, sounding angry, but really she wasn't. She felt great, incredibly happy.

"Come on, Sam. You don't _usually _smile like that, unless you see me doing something incredibly stupid." He said with a laugh. She waved her hand in the air as if to dismiss it.

"Oh, no problem, Jake. No, problems. All I can say is, for once I'm glad I lost the contest with Rachel Slocum." She said, and strode past him towards her class, still wearing the silly grin.

"What are you talking about?!" he called to her from across the hallway. She didn't acknowledge him, and kept walking. He shook his head in disbelief.

"Females… I'll never understand em'." He muttered and began to walk the other.

"The best at being broken," said Sam, who was on the other side of the hallway. She shook her head and the laughter rippled out of her, "Who wants to be the best at being broken?!" she laughed again, and continued to walk, her red hair swishing behind her.

Sam liked to think that she was the best at being whole.

---

_Okay, so weird ending. But overall I didn't think it was HORRIBLE. But I don't care what I think, and neither do you. But I do care what you thought. So what did you? You know the drill: read and review!_

_Keep writing,_

_Snappleapple518_


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